Hmmmm ... where to start?

Let's start with data. This 5.25" x 8.25" three-panel self-mailer was sent to a woman who has been deceased for more than five years. If that's any indication of the quality of the campaign's list, results may be ... well ... depressed.

But, alas, our problems with the mailer don't end there.

The mail side is simple: return address, indicia, prospect's name and address. Nothing specifically wrong with it except that there's a good deal of real estate and we'd love to see a teaser that alludes to the offer. Missed opportunity.

The art side is more problematic. We usually applaud personalization, and the prospect's last name certainly stands out in what must be 75- or 90-point type. BUT, right below the name are the dates 1948 - 2023. Since we spent more time with the piece than the average recipient would, we realized that those dates are the 75 years that the sender has been in business. The way they're listed under the name, though, they look like birth and death dates! Assuming the prospect is still alive, it looks like the sender is predicting their demise — and that demise is going to take place in the next three months.

Yikes!

Let's talk about the sender. It's Miracle-Ear. According to the National Institute on Aging, age-related hearing loss affects about 30% of older adults. BUT, "Some people may not want to admit they have trouble hearing." They certainly don't want it broadcast to their neighbors.

Another pet peeve of ours, no matter which way you open it, the inside is upside down.

Once you flip it over, the interior fares better. The copy is fairly straightforward, and much of it is bulleted for quick and easy scanning. There are locations listed with URLs as well as an 888-number. The prospect is encouraged to "Call NOW!" because "Appointments fill quickly." And, there are two offers, layed out like coupons, a hearing aid package for $495 (it would be good to know what the savings are) and a FREE evaluation, which would normally be $125 value.

However, given all the issues encountered on the outside of the package, we can't help but wonder if people will open it.

Pardon us. The Bs give the package a thumbs-down.